top of page
Writer's pictureNofar Van Frank

The important development stages from childhood to adulthood

Unfortunately parenting isn't taught at schools or at university. Yet, we find ourselves suddenly responsible for raising our children, facing daily challenges along the way. As parents, our role is to support and guide our children's development, so they can become independent and contribute positively to society. But how do we know what to do? What can we expect during the different developmental stages our children are going through? This article aims to shed some light on these uncertain developmental landmarks.

Every child deserves a caring and protective environment. Respecting their independence while providing structure and setting boundaries is essential for their upbringing. Stimulating their development, guiding your interactions, and teaching them knowledge, standards, and values are all crucial components of effective parenting.


So what are the important guidelines in parenting?

  • Creating a safe and stimulating environment is crucial for children to explore the world.

  • Positive reinforcement, such as praise or encouragement, can encourage desired behaviors.

  • Clear and consistent rules provide structure and predictability, while realistic expectations help children develop at their own pace. Remember, mistakes are part of learning, and children can't do everything at once.


    Taking care of yourself is essential for effective parenting. When you're rested and refreshed, you're better equipped to support your child's growth and development.


    Developmental phases per age:

    The following information outlines the developmental stages your child may be going through, based on their age. Remember, every child is unique and develops at their own pace. Don't worry if your child doesn't meet all the milestones listed for their age group. Some children may develop certain skills earlier or later than others, and that's perfectly normal.


  • 0 - 2 years: Attachment

    During the first two years of life, the most important task for children is to form a secure attachment with their caregivers. This attachment helps children learn to interact with others, differentiate between familiar and unfamiliar people, and develop a sense of self. They also begin to explore objects and play alongside other children.

    As a parent, your primary role is to respond sensitively to your child's needs. As your child grows older, setting clear boundaries and providing structure becomes increasingly important to create a safe and predictable environment.

  • 2 - 4 years: Communication

    Language development begins rapidly between the ages of 2 and 4. Children also start to understand object permanence, the concept that things continue to exist even when they're out of sight. Peek-a-boo is a fun way to explore this idea. Playtime shifts from parallel play to cooperative play during this phase, as children learn to interact with others more effectively. They become more adaptable and independent, demonstrating skills like self-feeding and dressing. Children may also begin to develop a sense of gender identity.

    In addition to providing support, structure, and boundaries, open communication becomes increasingly important. Your child's social needs are growing, so explaining rules and expectations is crucial. Challenging behaviors like tantrums and defiance are common during this stage.

  • 4 - 6 years: Independence and social skills

    Children's sense of independence continues to grow during this phase. They become more self-sufficient, taking care of tasks like washing and dressing themselves. Their understanding of right and wrong develops, along with feelings of shame. They also acquire essential school skills, including concentration, completing assignments, and working collaboratively. Children's ability to focus on tasks for extended periods and their active learning approach also improve.

    As a parent, encouraging your child's independence and social skills is important. Helping them interact with peers and providing clear rules and boundaries are essential. Media education, including managing screen time, is also a crucial topic to address.

  • 6 - 12 years: Emotional development and social skills

    Your child continues to become more independent and emotionally mature, developing skills in areas like transportation, money management, and media literacy. School skills, such as reading, writing, and math, continue to advance. Peer relationships become increasingly important as your child grows older. Empathy for others also develops.

    Encouraging your child to make their own choices fosters independence. Providing opportunities for social interaction is essential. Teaching your child how to interact respectfully with people from different backgrounds, including cultural, customs, norms, values, gender, and sexual orientation, is crucial. As your child's world expands, it's normal for them to experience anxiety or worry around age 8. Open communication, active listening, and asking questions are essential to support them during this time.

  • 12 - 16 years: Identity and gender orientation

    Developing a sense of self and building friendships are key during this developmental phase. As your child explores their identity and values, they may become less dependent on you and gravitate towards peers. This newfound independence can empower them to take risks and set their own boundaries. Physical changes and developing sexuality also play a significant role.

    Supporting your child's identity development is essential. Provide them with space to explore their own standards and values. Even as they become more independent, your guidance and influence continue to be important.

  • 16 - 23 years: Parental Independency

    During this transitional period, your child moves from childhood to adulthood. They become more independent, self-reliant, and autonomous, gradually breaking away from parental dependence.

    The parent-child relationship evolves into a more equal partnership. Your role shifts from a directive one to a more advisory one. It's important to respect your child's choices and initiatives while remaining available for support and guidance when needed.


    In conclusion, a respectful yet assertive approach is essential for effective parenting. Be open-minded, listen actively to your child's thoughts and feelings, observe more than criticize, and remember that everyone makes mistakes. It's a natural part of being human. When you make mistakes, take responsibility, apologize, and learn from the experience. We all grow and improve through our mistakes.


    Parenting is a challenging but rewarding journey, so most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing your best.


11 views0 comments

Commentaires


bottom of page